06.09.05

utah, share the love

I don�t know. I remember your deep green. Forest green and browns. Thumbs like the earth. You would figure meat and potatoes man. But then sir, where do you fit? You can�t, you can be one of them. Sir, your fingers betray you but so does your reading. Sir you don�t get to fit in anywhere.
I was not ready. I was not ready for the great hulking mass that was you. In your shoes and in your belt too big and tied, how many times over itself, and in your beard and your eyes. Your eyes which were, to say the least, expressive. Your eyes which would, so wide, frighten just a bit before you laughed and smiled a bit and said it was okay.
Sir, I could not have expected you to be so big.
I fancied myself like you sometimes, but I knew it was a silly dream. There were the rumours, of what a bad boy you were once. We wonder what you are like uncensored, we crowd around you in private hours to lap up you words.
Maybe the first year. That first year I was silently edging down that path too but then it switched and is supposed I floated away as a balloon, a bit disconnected from everything.
I am still floating down.
I suspect that some years from now I will spontaneously begin to cry, and it will finally be me saying good bye.
I am sorry I was not big enough yet.

shi-ou-sama at 11:26 a.m.

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