05.11.05

forgotten

He was feeling guilty now, because of all the lotion that he had wasted in her bathroom, tossing aborted lives into the steel bin. It was better than endangering their friendship, he thought. He could always find someone else. He would find some pretty girl, and she would love him with all of her heart. They would marry, he would make love to her ferociously for the first two weeks, and he would return to his cafes in the morning until the cries of his children lured him back home. He would love her, he would love them. This is what he told himself every Thursday night on his way back home.
He wasn�t sure though if he could ever marry Elina. What would they do but lie together all day? He could imagine spending months simply kissing her damp skin and feeling all its softness and smelling all of its musk, and then he would wonder if he should be more productive, if they should be doing something else. They would drift apart for months probably never seeing each other save for long nights of lovemaking and a few words over breakfast. The idea of her pregnant, with her lithe body elongated with a life inside of her that was both he and she combined, was nearly impossible. She would never let that happen to herself. Anyway, he couldn�t think of how much he would love that child before his heart burst. It would be amazing.
As it was

shi-ou-sama at 11:47 p.m.

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